Most of us have goals – things we want to achieve, habits we want to build, milestones we want to reach. And yet, for so many of us, our big plans start with enthusiasm but fizzle out before we see any real progress…
So, what goes wrong? And more importantly, how do we fix it?
I recently ran a Masterclass for 200 people from a global life insurer on goal setting, where we unpacked this very challenge. We spoke about why some goals stick while others fade, the importance of aligning our goals with what truly matters to us, and the role of hope in keeping us moving forward. This wasn’t about SMART goals – we took goal setting to the next level!
Why Set Goals?
Imagine going through life aimlessly – no clear direction, no sense of progress, just drifting from one day to the next. It would be pretty unsettling. Goals give us purpose, structure, and motivation. They contribute to our wellbeing, help us feel fulfilled and satisfied, keep us focused and engaged in our lives and work, and drive our personal and professional growth.
But here’s the problem: 80% of New Year’s goals fail by the second Friday in January. There’s even a name for it – ‘Annual Quitters Day.’
Yet often the problem isn’t that people fail at their goals – it’s that they were set up to fail from the start. Because they don’t address the single biggest predictor of goal success: whether your goal actually matters to you or not.
The Missing Piece
One major reason we struggle with goals is that we set the wrong ones. We don’t fail at goals. We fail at picking goals that are worth pursuing.
We often choose goals based on external pressure – because we think we ‘should,’ because our boss wants us to, or because it’s what everyone else is doing. The problem is that these goals don’t inspire us. They don’t align with who we truly are.
Enter self-concordant goals – goals that come from within (Sheldon & Elliot, 1999). They are the difference between forcing yourself to chase a goal and feeling pulled toward it. Research shows that when our goals align with our personal values, interests and identity, we’re more likely to stay motivated and succeed.
Here’s a quick test: Think of a past goal you gave up on. Now ask yourself, Was this something that really mattered to me? Or was I pursuing it for someone else? If it wasn’t self-concordant, that might explain why it didn’t stick.
Motivation Matters
When we talk about motivation, we often focus on willpower – just push through, stay disciplined, try harder! But real motivation is about more than effort. In fact, relying on willpower alone is one of the fastest ways to fail.
Sheldon and Elliot, two researchers, identify fours types of goal motivation:
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External – Pursued because someone else expects it (e.g., “I’m doing this because my boss wants me to”).
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Introjected – Driven by guilt or shame (e.g., “I’ll feel bad if I don’t do this”).
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Identified – Pursued because it’s personally important (e.g., “This matters to me and my future”).
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Intrinsic – Done purely for enjoyment (e.g., “I love doing this”).
The last two – identified and intrinsic – are the sweet spot. The more self-concordant your goal is, the more likely you are to achieve it. You will experience more positive emotions when it’s realised and a deeper level of satisfaction and fulfilment.
What’s interesting is that for the same goal, you might notice your motivation changing over time. I used to practise mindfulness for up to 30 minutes regularly and I did it for the pure enjoyment. Yet at one point, I found myself struggling and feeling guilty if I didn’t. The moment my motivation shifted from intrinsic to guilt-driven, I knew something had to change. Now, I take mindful moments on my morning walk or in the coffee queue – because it fits my life better.
How can our Workplaces help?
Goal setting isn’t just for our personal lives – it’s a crucial driver of performance and fulfilment at work. But if we want people to stay motivated and committed, we need to go beyond rigid KPIs and ensure their goals align with both their personal aspirations and the organisation’s purpose.
When companies encourage self-concordant goals, employees become intrinsically motivated, which leads to higher satisfaction, engagement, and results.
So, what can workplaces do?
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Support their people in setting goals that excite them not just the ones they have to achieve.
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Show how individual goals connect to the bigger mission.
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Recognise progress not just outcomes.
When you set the right goals, align them with your purpose, and have a system to support you – success is much more likely!
So, are you chasing goals that actually matter to you?
